Friday, November 17, 2017

New Moon


If you read the Tarot or do any kind of spiritual rituals associated with the Moon, then this is the time to work on new beginnings, changes and starting new projects. We are at the beginning of November's New Moon and the skies are dark! This is a wonderful time for star gazing if you are lucky enough, to be able to see the stars. When Alex and I first met, I moved back to the city to live with him, because he worked and I didn't and well, we just couldn't live without each other lol...one thing I missed terribly was seeing the stars. With Montreal's city lights, the stars just weren't visible. I feel really grateful to live out in the mountains with no city lights blocking my view of the sky.

I am a skywatcher, that's for sure. I'm a nature-lover too, so I pay attention to everything that goes on around me, skies, woods, mountains and critters. I thought about things today, I need to make some new attitude adjustments and I need to refresh my spirit a little bit. The last few months have been tough and have caused great doubt and anxiety within me. Suddenly I'm worried about the future, about when my income will dry up, if we can really afford to live our simple lifestyle while saving for a home and paying down debt...then those what if's...you know them! :)

What if I get sick? What if the dogs need vet care? What if the car dies? What if what if what if...I had to put a stop to it, it was making me the perfect candidate for the loony bin.

For those unaware, I am very spiritual and I don't talk about it much, but if I were categorized, I'd say I was a Pagan. I believe that practical magic can happen all around us if we have good intentions and take action. I am also a realist. I don't believe in "fantasy" type magic...in the sense that I don't believe that I can conjure up a hurricane to seek revenge on society or anything silly like that...but I do believe that if I set my intentions to something, and do everything I can to make these ideas and wishes come true, then I can accomplish anything.


Having said that, I decided to do a little snow ritual - since we have snow!!! I'm taking the advice of the New Moon and making a new change. I'm not going to allow my doubts and fears to take over my thoughts - it's so destructive. I've accepted that my life will be topsy turvy until we figure out what will happen with the two new dogs and I'm done being mad at their owner. I just want to focus on taking care of them and enjoying my life again. So, I went outside a little while ago in the dark of the New Moon. I thought about all the negative stuff I've been feeling lately as I formed a nice big snowball. After a deep breath, I threw the snowball as far as I could and made the decision to release the old and start new. Sometimes when we attach a physical action to a thought, it really becomes a lot more powerful!

My intentions are good and I really just want to feel happy and positive and move on with my life with all the plans I've made despite the obstacles! 

Monday, November 13, 2017

Growing Old Together


Are you a fan of Woody Allen's movies? I'm not a fan of his personal choices, but I do love most of his movies! His movies are all mostly about relationships, and in "Husbands and Wives", the premise is based on a couple who recently separated. The two of them act as though it's the best thing that could ever have happened to them and they are so nonchalant about it. They both claim they love being single and want to remain the best of friends. Then as time sets in, they both realize that they are "the type of people who need to be married".

Alex and I aren't married and likely won't ever take that step. We're okay with being a common-law couple as they say, we know it's forever. There was a time though, that I never wanted to be in a relationship. I was single until I met Alex, with a few very distant immature relationships in my teens and early twenties. Now I can't imagine being on my own again. I need to be in a relationship...not "need" as in desperate, but "need" as in feeling fulfilled. Alex is the same way, thought he'd be a bachelor his whole life because he never found someone who made him happy. He said when he met me, he realized he didn't ever want to be alone again. We both want to be happy and secure with each other, and we have our ups and downs; but for the most part we try to do everything we can to communicate and treat each other well. We do feel that we were meant for each other and it feels nice knowing that we will continue to grow together - and grow old together!

It's funny how I had such a firm philosophy on my singlehood! But from the very beginning of our relationship, everything just felt right. We moved in together a week after we met, yes we did lol...and I know that for most people that is a recipe for disaster, but for us, it seemed the natural thing to do! It worked for us, we've been together over four years now and going strong! Despite our age difference, we have so much in common. I really thought that I would have had to settle for less if I wanted to be in a relationship, I'm happy I was wrong!

My fraternal grandparents were together for 60 years. They always seemed so content. In fact, a sad but sweet fact is that two months after my grandma passed away, so did my grandpa, he was inconsolable when she died. My maternal grandfather died young and my maternal grandmother never remarried, she liked to be single.

I know there are people out there who prefer the single life. Are you one of those people? Or are you one of those people who "needs to be married" or in a couple? Do you feel you are with your soul mate, the person you are meant to grow old with? Or do you much prefer to be alone? If it's not too personal, I'd love to hear what people have to say on this subject!

*********************

Medusa

By the way, a little superstitious folklore for today: If the thirteenth day after Halloween falls on a Friday, all persons born on that day will possess the power of the evil eye. If I had the "power" of the evil eye, I wonder if I'd use it for good or for evil lol? I'm sure we've all been the victim of someone's evil eye at times! It doesn't quite turn you to stone, but if sure does feel cold!

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Full Beaver Moon


Tonight is November's Full Beaver Moon. The Algonquin tribes named it the Beaver Moon to remind themselves that this is the time of year to set the traps to catch the beavers so that they would have warm pelts for the winter to come. Tonight's moon is also called the Frost Moon, for obvious reasons, at least here up north! :)

I usually post a Tarot spread that I've put together with meaningful questions and thought-provoking ideas. But that can also happen without the spread, I thought I'd do a few posts now and then about moons, lore and totems.

Totems (or Animal Spirits) came originally from North American Indian tribes ages ago. These people lived by nature and put symbols and meaning to everything around them. I'm fascinated by it, and I find it rings very true for my own beliefs.

The Beaver totem has a lot to teach us. They are extremely industrious and hard-working animals. This teaches us to work hard to achieve our goals. Do you ever see a beaver give up on building his or her dam?

Beavers are flexible and adaptable as well. Despite our climate change and the seemingly shift of the four seasons, the beaver is still in harmony with his and her environment and alter their plans to meet their needs.

The beaver pelts are soft yet very durable because they are waterproof. The idea of repelling hardships in a graceful way comes to mind! (I need that message these days!!) :)

I think that the most important message the Beaver has to offer is that we have to act on our dreams to make them a reality. It's nice to wish and daydream, but without action, that's all they are, wishes.

I spent far too many years wishing for things, but I never took the necessary steps to make those wishes become reality. I've changed that these days. Every day I'm learning new skills, honing in on current ones, and working towards home ownership and most of all a joyful life without regret. Is there any action that you need to take to make one of your dreams come true? If so, ask yourself, why haven't you taken that action yet? What's stopping you? 

Alex and I watched a documentary on baby beavers being reintroduced into the wild and our hearts melted. We both said at the same time "I want a beaver" lol...we're suckers for any animal. Heck, maybe they'd help us build our house if we trained them well lol!

Friday, November 3, 2017

Letting Go Of Anger


My life is pretty much an open book. I guess many years of therapy to recover from burnout and childhood does that to a person! You just get used to talking about everything that nothing really phases you! I used to be more private, but what the heck, I'm comfortable with who I am now. :)

I've been open about the anger I'm am still sadly holding on to for the person who left his dogs with us and abandoned them. I think what bothers me along with his behaviour/attitude is the uncertainty of what will happen to the dogs. Are they ours temporarily, or is it permanent? After taking care of them for a year, will they be pulled away from me after I've bonded with them? I love those dogs and will do anything to help them, but how is all of this fair to us? We've been left on the back burner. 

I will also admit that it took me DECADES to forgive my parents for their treatment. What I failed to stubbornly understand is that forgiveness isn't about letting anyone off the hook - it's really about not allowing those people to hurt you anymore, releasing the anger and moving on. I was brought up to believe that forgiveness was mandatory no matter what a person did to you, if you didn't forgive them, you were going to hell and they were allowed to basically get away with murder so to speak.

True forgiveness really isn't easy to do, at least for me. I've forgiven the family now, but they are no longer any part of my life and it's been like that for over ten years now. I've never been emotionally healthier so there is no regret, I finally put myself first and stopped listening to the guilt trips and lies. Life can't always be about pleasing others. We only have one life here on earth and we must live for our own happiness right?

But this guy...what he did to his dogs...it's irking me still. I'm not so much angry as resentful and full of pity for the two sweetest dogs you could ever meet. I'm really working on forgiving him, for ME, not for him. Sometimes it takes me a little while to release anger and negative feelings, but I have to keep reminding myself that I should never allow someone else's actions to affect my mood, my emotions and my lifestyle. I don't think it's a quick fix though. Time will be my best friend with this venture!

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Autumn Harvest


I woke up to some snow this morning, not a lot but enough to coat the ground and give an "inside and out" chill to the body! Actually the roads were slick with ice so taking the dogs out was a challenge. I need to bring out my winter crampons for mornings like this!

A new season is here. The beginning of winter showed itself this morning, what great timing! I was really hoping for my first snow-free Halloween! :) We were up late watching movies and snacking on WAY too much chocolate!! 

So, looking back on the fall season, which was so short for us this year...what stands out? What brought you joy and gratitude? Is there anything you still need to do, in preparation for winter or just to ease your spirit and improve your life? Is there any change that needs to be made? Change doesn't happen on its own, so what will you do to make a positive change in your life?

I had some forced changes placed on me this fall...but I'm grateful for the opportunity to take care of our two foster doggies...they needed us. :) This threw a big wrench in my beloved routines! But I was able to adapt and I feel my heart has opened up even more now. 

Autumn has a lot to teach us if we are open to the lessons:

If you have a garden, autumn is harvest time. This is so rewarding and the lesson is that working towards a goal will always be rewarding, even if the harvest isn't what you expected!

Balance...the days are shorter, we need to adjust to the darkness and the cold, damp weather. Are you able to balance your life during darker, colder times?

There is a reason why our middle aged lives are called the "autumn years". Do you lament your youth? Honestly I used to, but I'm really enjoying myself these days, my life now is so fulfilling, nothing like it was when I was younger.

Autumn trees shed their leaves, but this is the time of year when they are at their most glorious. After months of being green, they were just waiting for their chance to reveal their most stunning self and shine. Are you ready to shine, or are you still too "green"? That's a good one to think about too! :)

Autumn teaches us that nothing is permanent, trees don't hang on to their foliage, they let it go, knowing that it's time to move on.  Do you need to let anything go? Are you accepting of change?

The wonderful thing about trees is though, they always come back to life in the spring. Renewal after a long rest. Do you allow yourself to rest and renew? Are there things you need to change in that respect?

Does Autumn teach you any lessons you'd like to share?

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Halloween: The Haunted House


Happy Halloween!
Blessed Samhain!
Merry All Hallow's Eve!

Today is a day of fun for me! I've been decorating all morning, lighting candles in the pumpkins and planning our fun menu.

It's also a very thought-provoking and spiritual day for me. I don't follow any particular spirituality, but I do honour my Celtic roots and my ancestors, I live by the seasons and feel very in touch with the earth around me. Samhain/Halloween marks the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter - which is a new year in my world! 

I still celebrate the calendar new year for fun, but tonight really does end that seasonal year for me. My ancestors lived off the land for their existence and celebrated a year of hard work and preparation on this eve with bonfires, harvest dinners, honouring those who have passed on, divination and spending time thinking about what to leave behind and what to welcome in the new year. This is also a time to welcome the coming of winter, which is a season for rest, contemplation and planning.

I also take some time to do some self-improvement by thinking about my life and the path I'm taking. This is a good Tarot spread to do or just to read to provoke some good thoughts for positive change. I am also thinking a LOT about my two pugs who passed away in 2011 and 2014.

Winston and Spencer, the loves of my life! :)


I got these two in 1995. Winston stayed with me until he was 16 years old and Spencer until he was 19 years old. Winston was the tough guy of the family...always trying to be in charge! Spencer was a meek little fella, losing one eye at 2 years old and eventually going blind and deaf when he was 10 years old. These two were my wonderful companions and I still miss them terribly, they will never be forgotten!

Monday, October 23, 2017

Insight Into Dreams


Do you dream? Well, we all do, I guess the better question is do you remember your dreams? If so, do you analyze them? I think we only tend to analyze the bad dreams. I know that if I have a positive, happy dream, I feel no need to analyze it!

But it's those nightmares that disturb me. Since I was eight years old, I have had the same recurring nightmare: 

It's late at night and I'm walking alone on a country road in silence. I pass by a rickety old house with a large porch and a picket fence around it. I feel uncontrollably drawn to the house, so I open the gate, it creeks of course!...then I walk up the stairs and I am facing the screen door - it's so dark I can't see in. Suddenly I see a pair of eyes staring down at me. I squint my eyes to focus and I see a man looking at me with the whites of his eyes. He is a priest, he is blind and he means me harm.

In terror, I turn away and run down the stairs, open the gate and run down the road. The blind priest is right behind me, jumping down the stairs and over the gate. He is wearing a big black hat and a ripped black robe. He sees me though he's blind, I can't run fast enough, I feel his long finger nails scratching at my back, breaking my skin as I run for my life. The road ahead of me is dark and it never seems to end. I can feel my breath leaving me.

Then I wake up, sweating and terrified and sometimes screaming. I had this nightmare almost nightly until my early twenties. It went away for about 9 years when I was on anti-depressants and tranquilizers for the panic attacks...well, I would say no surprise there...those pharmaceuticals really turned me into a zombie. Only a few months after I stopped all the meds, the nightmare came back.  I would say I roughly have this nightmare at least twice a month if not more often.

I've done analysis (both self and professional) and I know what it's supposed to mean. It explains most of the realities that I lived through in my childhood...I was supposed to have dealt with all of that in therapy, so why does it not go away? And what on earth triggers that blind priest to keep terrifying me during my sleep?

Do you have recurring nightmares? Or better yet, recurring nice dreams? If one night I wake up remembering that me and the priest were laughing and enjoying a picnic together I think I might go nuts finally lol...but it would be nice to have some kind of closure and never have that nightmare ever again! If you're interested, here are two interesting dream-analysis sites:



They are basic with "user-friendly" Freudian analyses, but they really make you think a little further about what your dreams could mean!